We have been working on descriptive writing all year. This is your opportunity to show the class your descriptive writing abilities. Write a paragraph describing (in your own words) an exciting event that occurred in your story. Be sure to provide as many details as possible and provide support by using examples from the story. Remember, make sure your writing is fluid by using proper transitions.
1.) Use as many good adjectives as possible to describe the nouns in your paragraph.
2.) Use as many good adverbs as possible to describe your verbs.
3.) Use as many vocabulary words that you have learned this year.
As the violent hurricane passed Philip and Timothy struggled to survive on the cay. Consistently, the hurricane smashed into them injuring the two of them more and more. Hours passed when finally they learn that both of them survived to the eye of the hurricane. Soon the violent storm comes back this time bringing ferocious waves crashing against them. When finally the storm breaks they are stripped of their clothes and gasping for air.
ReplyDeleteAs the violent winds blow Timothy and Philip begin to struggle and get safe while the hurricane is smashing down on them. Urgently Timothy protects Philip with his body to take the full hit of the winds. Hours pass when Timothy and Philip realize that they are at the eye of the hurricane and must perpare for the latter part of it. When the hurricane hits for the second time Philip gets back under Timothy to stay safer. Though ferosious waves came crashing down on the two of them repetedly still giving Timothy the full hit. When the hurrican is over the two are strpped of their clothes and greatful that they're alive.
ReplyDeleteJust as they expected, a huge and deadly hurricane had started crashing onto the island, as Phillip, Timothy, and Stew cat, try to hang on tight as the hurricane gos on and on, getting more and more higher, as hours pass. Later on, they find out that they are in the eye, and the second part will come soon. When the second part did come, it was much more violent then the first time. Phillip went behind Timothy to protect himself, while the waves came crashing on them, giving Timothy the full hit. More hours pass by, and finally, the hurricane was over. However, it left us completely stripped from our clothes,and later on, old Timothy had died.
ReplyDeletePhilip has known one to lean on anymore since the death of Timothy happened. It was a normal day for Timothy, Phillip, and stew cat. That day Timothy decided to get some food. Phillip thought Timothy would be oka by himself but he was wrong. Timothy came back and plopped on the hot drizzling sand. Then Timothy went to sleep in seconds. Phillip came and started talking to Timothy but he did not answer. Phillip did not know what was wrong but then he thought Timothy was died and he was right Timothy was died. So after the death of Timothy the days became harder for Phillip and stew cat. Until they get rescued Phillip will have to do everything by himself.
ReplyDelete@ Everyone - Great use of adjectives. One point to note is, try using more pronouns (he, she, they, I, etc) instead of repeating nouns such as 'TIMOTHY'.
ReplyDelete@hummingbird simpson
ReplyDeleteI dont really believe that Timothy died after going out to get food. I believe he died because of the hurricane. Another thing is that you should watch your spelling since okay was missing the y. Otherwise I found that your description had a great use of adjectives.
@CHELSEA
ReplyDeleteI loved your descriptive paragraphy but maybe next time you should add a bit more trasition words.:D